Category: Uncategorized

In doing anything that will be a “collaborative process” I cringe a bit. Yes, this is the adult version of group work from back in grade school. I find there are 3 kinds of people when it comes to work done in this collective fashion: 1) The delegator, some might call this the leader but as a person who himself demonstrates great leaderships skills I know that this role is best filled by someone who is of maximum laziness and therefore inclined to volunteer only to determine who else does the work. 2) The Proletariat the people who get the job done, they make most of the calls do most of the labor and ultimately take least of the credit. 3) The slackers these are the ones who skate by volunteer nothing and ultimately get a grade elevated by the work of the others.

When, if ever do these three distinct social animals meet? Why at the meeting and what does this meeting usually accomplish? It accomplishes the necessary clarification of the aforementioned roles and allows for possible defection to a different role. I find that as a delegator most of my energy is devoted to avoiding these meetings since the redundancy of overstated tasks can seem to compound the real material of concern and breeds only confusion and panic. The only questions at a meeting should be brief and specific to the concern that is most forthcoming.

D: “You have that set up and ready with blah blah considered?”

P: “Yeah.”

D: All in favor?

S: “Yeah.”

D: “And we’re done.”

And now I find myself tired of this one sided meeting with myself so I’m done . . . I know what’s next, dinner.

So at 10:18 PM tonight I’ll officially be in my mid 20’s. Apt timing considering that I Love the 90’s Part Deux is on now and I’m eating up the nostalgia like a dying old man. I wonder if this phenomenon of “things being better when I was a kid” is a common affliction OR a recent one? This is a strange world and you would be in extreme denial if you thought it wasn’t seemingly more serene just a few years ago. Oh well I figure things are circular if nothing else, there is no point in losing any sleep about the perpetually uncertain future as I suppose one thing is in common for all of us have less of it to worry about each and every day.

Today is uncommonly sunny for a mid January day and that was a nice thing. Soon school will become stressful as I will be required to take on added responsibilities in the filming crew, due to my Graduate status. I am confident that by the end of May I will have acquired the technical skills I currently lack. I just need to have the desire to apply them and the talent and creativity to come up with something . . . .

As the new year approaches it’s a time when I get a bit energized about getting some things started in my life. This usually passes as the cold dark Winter Months continue on and school and influenza chip away at my resolve and reduce me to my former unglory. I’m one of those “lost” people who was following a path of someone else’s desire for long enough to make him quite tired of life in general. The things I do enjoy the quirks and the “stuff” that makes me excited and puts a smile on my face come from making and talking about “mostly the latter at this point” pictures and videos. Writing stories and such is what I want to do developing an idea through the multiple facets available to one working on film. Music, light, acting, design, etc. You build a great team of people who know their field and let them loose guiding only enough to get a roughly definable concept then you mould that concept and you can make something that can be awesome. This is my inspiration.

Sort of on this same note I’ve recently been listening to archived internet radio broadcasts that feature MC Chris of [adult swim] fame. I read this guys bio and found it to be a haphazard one that seems to be making him happy at this point. He studied art and theatre at two of the best schools in the nation, ultimately getting a degree in screenwriting which he admits was not a good idea. Now after working with what can only be a crazy and fun group of people there in Atlanta he is embarking on pursuing his career as one of the most innovative rappers out there. His DJ John (gotta love the Utilitarianism there) mixes tracks from Aphex Twin and Blink 182, onto Pro-Tools, to make beats that Chris makes the funniest and also some of the most lyrical raps I’ve heard. The point is that this fellow is funny and cool he’s pursued a few avenues of interest that are similar to mine and is just now starting to make it “big.”

I guess that is some kind of inspiration to me since I have began to learn the technical stuff and have the screenwriting part taken care of (with a degree in Biology to boot). Now it just falls to me to have enough drive to make stuff that I think is fun and get past my fatalistic perfectionism that ultimately yields “good enough” crap to make some cool stuff and then get it out there in some ways that people will be able to see it and maybe there will be a place for me somewhere cool like [adult swim] or somewhere where it seems that innovation in commercial marketing and programming has the potential to be quite exciting.

Here’s the link to the archived radio program it’s Plug and Play with OCDJ (Chris brings up a possible reference to a popular FOX program in the name in his Dec 10th interview).

http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/OD

I liked the warmth hibernation that this season brings. I find my mind turns toward the escapist joys of human interaction and the fun of meeting someone that is fun to be around. Being such a self centered neurotic fellow for so long that the idea that another person can make me feel good had completely left my consciousness. I had accepted that my life would be one of a certain sort of irreverent solitude. That I would placate my misery with the hedonism of technology and simple sensory delight. I recently challenged this sentiment and now feel a certain giddy joy common to the infatuation of my youth. Perhaps it is the novelty of telling the same joke to a new person or perhaps it is that she laughs and plays along. Still it was a fleeting experience that awoke in me a feeling that I had long thought extinguished permanently through my own stubborn sardonic view of existence. It’s nice to know that such quick bursts of uncontrived fun can still happen.

I haven’t listened to any of my nine inch nails music for quite some time. Since I know the new one With Teeth should be out sometime in the next 6 months or so I figured it was time for a chronological review. I put on the first and second albums today and since it’s been a few years and I have acquired some musical training in that time I found that I could enjoy and criticize the music that much more. I also found myself in a somewhat nostalgic kick going through my own memories of a time when I listened to the music quite regularly anyhow I found it to be a good thing and quite cathartic a purging of atiquated philosophies and a reaffirmation of old ideas.

. . . maybe that’s not the point. I mean for elections and all it’s nice that this dichotomy of basic ideologies has developed. Hell when Clinton won in 92 he had only 43% of the popular vote and that was because of Perot (remember him?) The political process has many avenues for variety in candidates but I think it’s good that there are only a few people fighting for the big chair. It forces compromise and sure it creates a mediocrity in the moderation of ideology but that prevents cataclysm. I believe that since we are a Republic of independent states, that is where the real power of the individual lies. In my State of California there are Propositions and in my County of Humboldt there are Measures all of which have a much greater bearing on my day to day life (if any at all). Do I want to pay an extra cent on the dollar so local services can keep on keepin’ on? Or do I want to modify the 3 strikes law, OR fund stem cell research in the form of a bond initiative? These are the things that will stimulate or dismantle the commerce of the state and result in either making my home town a nice place or a not-so-nice place. And that is my 2 cents on the importance of exercising democratic power.

Now what is plurality and where is it okay in my opinion? Award shows! That’s right if there are more than 3 nominees then chances are the winner is just good and not “the best.” I recently read a live journal by director Paul Feig discussing his difficulty in going through the process of getting his film to be in a position to be nominated. He talks about his frustrations with the new rules for striving for that Oscar glory in this diary which I found to be insightful and amusing [that’s the best kind]. Here is a link to the second part of a director’s diary, enjoy. http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/562/562383p1.html

Being sick for these last few days I’ve found myself sort of out things. Sleeping the entire day Saturday helped me to get better I’m sure but I didn’t even go to school most of today I just popped in for two hours to get an acting assignment done. The problem with being sick is two fold 1) you find life is much too difficult to cope with when your own body doesn’t want to work properly. 2) the rest of the world keeps moving and you inevitably get left behind in some respect. I’d liken it to being in a coma. You find that the longer you feel rotten the less you can deal with the reality of the world and the more transcendent things become. When you do come out of this stupor you find the recovery to be traumatic as you must accelerate back into whatever mode you run at as a standard operating procedure.

My Second film project will be a compilation of two rolls of 16 mm film on one roll I have observed my Mother painting a rose and also caught some of the mess on the kitchen table. On the second roll I have observed my brother painting as well as moving around his home and going into a shed where he has many paintings lining the walls.

I will most likely use the images of the collection of paintings in the shed to begin the film and inter-cut my Mother’s careful observation and painting of a rose with my Brother’s wandering about and abstract and rapid painting style. I will serve to find meaning making in how I contrast their painting approaches and also how I might find similarities. Essentially I will observe the rolls and then make decisions about how to cut and integrate the two painters in the editing room.

I’m just starting to become convinced that I’m gonna have one of those weekends with a cold. It pisses me off but so it goes. I spent a number of hours today assisting my audio teacher in micing a band. The band seems pretty good. They have an old organ with a Leslie speaker that spins while producing sound and a saxophonist who plays a giant baritone. They also have the guitar and drums and bass and vocals. The sax and organ give it greater depth than any typical rock band.

I’m at the tail end of being 23 years old and I have a high cholesterol level for the Low Density Lipoproteins. Years of eating junk food and being lazy in college have caught up with me quite fast. It makes me wonder if perhaps the life expectancy is going to start to decrease as more and more people become lazy fat asses like myself? I guess this is not such a bad thing hopefully Natural Selection will preserve those fortunate ones with good genes and the self control and self esteem to live a healthy life.